Holding Space for What Matters

CONNECTING

We live in a world that often confuses holding space with fixing. When someone is hurting, we rush to offer advice. When someone feels lost, we try to light the way. But holding space is something else entirely.

Holding space is presence without agenda. It’s the quiet confidence that another person can navigate their own path — and that our role is simply to walk beside them for a while.

Brené Brown reminds us that “Shame cannot survive being spoken and met with empathy.” Holding space is the act of making that meeting possible. When we are witnessed without judgment, shame melts away.

In The Gifts of Imperfection, she writes about the courage to be imperfect — to show up without the mask, to be fully seen. That takes practice. It also takes safety. And safety begins when someone says, “I’m here. I’m not going to fix you. I’m just going to be with you.”

Byron Katie’s Four Questions are one way of holding space for ourselves:

1. Is it true?

2. Can you absolutely know it’s true?

3. How do you react — what happens — when you believe that thought?

4. Who would you be without that thought?

The Enneagram teaches that each type has its own way of avoiding discomfort:

• Type 7 distracts.

• Type 1 criticises.

• Type 2 rescues.

But growth comes when we notice our instinct and choose instead to stay present.

Holding space is an act of trust — in the other person, in the process, and in ourselves.

Reflection prompts:

1. When was the last time you felt truly “held” in conversation?

2. Which is harder for you — holding space for others, or letting others hold space for you?

3. How might you practice presence without fixing this week?

Possible next step: Join The Reading Room — a slow book space where holding space is our unspoken agreement.